Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Facing My Fears

Today I had to face a fear that
I have had as far back as I can remember.
It's something that a lot of people can do with no
worries, but I am not one of those people.
Today I went for my trip to the doctor and faced that
fear... I got my blood drawn...voluntarily .

My appointment was very early this morning
and I was seeing the doctor for a few reasons,
knowing that there was a good chance once I got
in there she would order "lab work" to check things out.
Anytime this has been the case in the past,
I have always stressed and felt so uneasy
and nervous...
and although I was definitely feeling that way last
night and when I first woke up this morning, somehow this
time was different.
About midway to the medical center where it was,
I started feeling nervous and all these doubts entered my mind
and my fears were at their high... that seems to be how it always
is and it was like when we started to get closer
and closer my mind started to realize where I was going.
...And then we turned onto the street that leads
there, and right at the moment I looked forward and what did I see?
A rainbow.
Faint, right in front of me.
And I felt calmed suddenly... I got this amazing
peace, and looking at that rainbow and knowing what it symbolizes,
 I felt almost like somehow God was giving me that peace.
I felt so thankful in that moment.

So, when I got into the room and after talking
with my doctor, she did indeed order the lab work and asked when
I would like to have it done, I found it in me to say
"Let's do it now."
I felt nervous for a second waiting in the chairs
 outside the lab... and then I felt like it maybe wasn't as
big a deal as I was making it out to be by panicking.
And when I walked out of there when it was over,
I felt and still feel proud that I got through it... and
I feel equally relieved.

That's just my experience of facing my fear today
and how I got through it... and what a
rainbow meant to me.
~
Needles may not be a big deal to a lot
of people, and I know there are so many who
have to face them way more often than I do, but whether I have
to get stuck by one once a year or once every month they are something
I have been terrified of.
By sharing this fear I faced, I don't mean to say I have done
anything amazing at all because I know it isn't amazing... but
it is something important to me for the fact that
I did it, a personal feat... and to know that I'm sitting
here as I write with a bandage on my arm from this morning,
and I'm still alive, haha,
I survived it :)

It was one of those things that you do that
is no small thing because it means a lot that you got through
it, no matter what it is.  The point is that you're
afraid of it...but I truly believe that finding meaning and comfort
in even small ways can get you through
those fears.

I think most people have personal fears
that they have had to or will have to face sometime
in their lives... what is your fear?

Thankyou for reading,
I hope you have a Blessed day!
(and a fear-free one too!)






2 comments:

  1. I am so glad that you were able to do that and do it well! And how lovely that you saw that rainbow!

    I have yet to handle my fear of snakes. I always tell people, heaven forbid if there is a poisonous one nearby as my natural reflex is to run away screaming. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou so much! Some may think thats cheesy, but seeing that rainbow was really something :)
      I completely understand about snakes... Thats a really logical fear and especially here with the rattlers and everything. & that is probably one fear you would be better off not having to face.
      thanks so much for reading and your lovely comment!
      Have a wonderful weekend!

      Delete

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God Bless You,
Jazzmin

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