Thursday, January 31, 2013
Sweet Relief- God is ALWAYS There
Have you ever had something on your mind that worried you sick and wouldn't go away? You hoped it would ease, but never really did... you prayed about it day in and day out, morning and night, and maybe that comforted you, but your heart was still heavy.
I have been going through that for a couple of months now. I have been scared, worried, and all of the above about something, and was worried that something was really wrong with me... I am one of those people that will let something bother me and sit at home and just keep living life and listen to a lot of songs about faith and life and not go to the doctor until the worry is killing me... because who likes to go to the doctor?
But a couple of weeks ago, I finally did go... and they referred me to get my worry checked out, and I couldn't make an appointment until this week.... which I just got home from. And things look fine. And I feel SO RELIEVED!! I can't even express the amount of relief and joy I feel right now!
But I didn't sit down to write about my worries or even my relief... I wanted to share how THANKFUL I am to God for getting me through this, and the ways that I have gotten through, and the comfort I have that has helped me so much- and that helps me to know I can make it through other struggles.
One thing and one thing only has made up the majority of the source of my comfort through it all...
Knowing I could throw my heart and my burdens on the Lord saved me from more heartache than I already had. My worries did not go away, they were still in the back of my mind... but feeling the presence of Him in my life made it a little easier. I asked God to help me to trust Him fully with my life... and sometimes, my heart was so desperate and hurting that I basically prayed and asked that I please be allowed to live a long life and be well if it was His will!
In some ways, I think it is easy to feel selfish when you are praying and asking God for help for a situation... I started to, as I kept thinking that I am probably just worrying myself for nothing (which it seems I was) and that other people need God way more than I do right now. People who are actually ill and dealing with something much worse. But it's important to remember that anything that makes us sad or hurt or scared is worth praying about, and that it is welcomed.
A test of faith surely makes us stronger... and although worrying was hard, and being afraid was harder, there was always the belief in my heart that never left me, that said Leave it all up to God, and He will take care of it.
And he did. And I am so thankful.
It has been a true test of my faith to stay positive and trust. And maybe it's just me, or just human nature, but I find it hard to not think negatively sometimes... mostly in big things.
Before I knew it, I was sure that I was going to die young from whatever I might have... and I got in a rut. I started thinking of places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do, the life and love I have yet to feel, the photographs I wanted to take, the dresses I still had to sew. Sure that is probably dramatic, but when you are worried your mind can get away from you.
And that rut lasted a few days, and then I thought about how my word for this year to live by was Positivity... and I was starting to live the opposite. These tests of faith seem to sometimes come when your faith needs strengthening, and this one has done that for me as well. In a way, it also made me see everything more beautifully, with more appreciation.
I looked for signs in my life, in objects, in every day that comforted me, and found many. But believing God would help me through helped more than anything!
One of my favorite verses is at Matthew 7:7, "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you.", and the relief I feel right now is a result of this. Praying incessantly about it got me through.
And now I feel free... free, like a bluebird just set free. Like that bluebird you see from afar, that represents faith, that I wrote about the other day... and I mentioned signs. I don't look for meaning in everything, but I believe comfort can be found in seeing meaning in things when meaning is meant to be seen in them. The day after I wrote about "faith is a bluebird", I woke up and looked for a necklace to wear that day with a white blouse. I looked in my jewelry box and picked up a locket. I hadn't worn it in quite a while and had forgotten about it... I fastened it around my neck and went on my way. And during the day when I was in the car, I looked down at my locket. And what did it have on it? Not exactly a bluebird, but still, a bird that was blue... the prettiest dark blue. And that was good enough for me, and made me smile.
God is amazing and faith is a gift too incredible and precious for words. That, and relief, like the relief like I felt today... especially sweet after waiting for my prayers to be answered.
My heart is full... of thankfulness, happiness, joy, and a million other beautiful feelings! And hope!... hope for the now and my life ahead that has returned!
. . .
This is something that I wanted to share and have for awhile concerning faith... but today I am so relieved and joyful, and in a way I wanted to wait until I could write it with a more complete, joyful heart.... Just know that, as Cinderella once sung, "No matter how you're heart is grieving (or what you are going through), if you keep on believing", everything will turn out alright.
Have faith. Believe, and never be afraid to surrender your worry to the person who has your future in His hands... your Heavenly Father.
Blessings to you!!
Have an amazing day :)